Fatherhood and Anxiety
The pressure of fatherhood fills the air when a new baby is on the way. Mothers are not the only parents dealing with high expectations. Should you take leave? If I take leave from work, how many days/weeks should I take? Is it necessary to take leave anyway? How much is this new baby going to cost?!
The same could be said for father’s who have children in the 12th grade. High school can be fun for children. There are sports, boyfriends/girlfriends, music, clubs, movies and long nights. It can all seem like fun and game until a child is set to graduate. Do you pay that child’s tuition? Why is there not enough grants and scholarships to cover college costs? Can my child survive without my parenting? My child decided to take a gap year, what now? Just found out my child is having a baby. What is my financial and/or emotional role?
This is just the tip of the iceberg. The questions asked daily for any one scenario can truly be endless. These questions with no answers or limited answers can create anxiety. You may worry. You may lose sleep in an attempt to spend time answering the multiple questions that remain untackled. On top of being a father, you are also an individual and may have individual needs that often times get placed on the back burner. Last year, no one remembered your birthday and forget about getting a toolset for Father’s Day. That thought is out the windows. The truth is, all parents including dads take on a great responsibility when they become a parent. That responsibility can seem endless. Fathers experience very similar concerns that mothers do. Typically, those concerns are overlooked. Those concerns are vital and in so saying must be remedied to reduce anxiety.
Here are 5 coping skills fathers can add to their mental health toolbox:
1. Purchase a journal or notebook. It need not be anything fancy. Steno pads at Walmart are $.99 and are perfect for quickly hitting down notes. They are also easy to carry around and will not add a financial burden if that burden already exists. Use you journal to take notes or jot down questions. You can also make to do lists. This can help with racing thoughts and keeping you organized. So, it’s multi-functional.
2. Find a hobby. Now, some say this can be difficult and maybe even costly. But, there are always free or low-cost ways to engage in a new hobby that will bring joy without emptying your pockets.
3. Create and institute a family night. Now, this may be difficult to do if time for you and your family is difficult to come by. However, it is possible. Making designated time for the family will help with freeing up other days/nights during the week to take care of family or personal things. Family night can be weekly or even bi-weekly. Family night can become family day if you or a child plays a sport. Make a day out of the event. Make sandwiches and spend time at the park after the game or enjoy a hot cup of tea/coffee around a fire pit in the winter. Make it a device free few hours. Not only do you get quality time in with your family, but you may have an opportunity to decompress and relax.
4. Try something new! Unlike number #2 this does not need to be something you continue doing. It may be a one time opportunity so make it something fun! Do bungee jumping or skydiving. Try a new type of food. Attend a cooking class. Enter a contest. The only requirement here is to do something you have not done before. It could be something you would like to scratch off your bucket list. You just might like it.
5. Have a guy’s day or just a you day. Hit up the spa or the beach. Enjoy a round of golf or get a hot stone massage. Maybe your wife gifted you with a massage day at home or a daddy’s day off. Use it or lose it! Lol.
Any of these tools can be helpful in realigning your mental health and getting you back on track or keeping you on track. Most importantly, they are best used when you are sensing that you may be getting off course. You don’t have to wait until you have completely fallen off the wagon and you are extremely stressed and sad. Use this as an opportunity to regroup. If you need more support in managing your stress, contact me today. My unique coping strategies will help you get through the funk and give you freedom! Counseling Support
The same could be said for father’s who have children in the 12th grade. High school can be fun for children. There are sports, boyfriends/girlfriends, music, clubs, movies and long nights. It can all seem like fun and game until a child is set to graduate. Do you pay that child’s tuition? Why is there not enough grants and scholarships to cover college costs? Can my child survive without my parenting? My child decided to take a gap year, what now? Just found out my child is having a baby. What is my financial and/or emotional role?
This is just the tip of the iceberg. The questions asked daily for any one scenario can truly be endless. These questions with no answers or limited answers can create anxiety. You may worry. You may lose sleep in an attempt to spend time answering the multiple questions that remain untackled. On top of being a father, you are also an individual and may have individual needs that often times get placed on the back burner. Last year, no one remembered your birthday and forget about getting a toolset for Father’s Day. That thought is out the windows. The truth is, all parents including dads take on a great responsibility when they become a parent. That responsibility can seem endless. Fathers experience very similar concerns that mothers do. Typically, those concerns are overlooked. Those concerns are vital and in so saying must be remedied to reduce anxiety.
Here are 5 coping skills fathers can add to their mental health toolbox:
1. Purchase a journal or notebook. It need not be anything fancy. Steno pads at Walmart are $.99 and are perfect for quickly hitting down notes. They are also easy to carry around and will not add a financial burden if that burden already exists. Use you journal to take notes or jot down questions. You can also make to do lists. This can help with racing thoughts and keeping you organized. So, it’s multi-functional.
2. Find a hobby. Now, some say this can be difficult and maybe even costly. But, there are always free or low-cost ways to engage in a new hobby that will bring joy without emptying your pockets.
3. Create and institute a family night. Now, this may be difficult to do if time for you and your family is difficult to come by. However, it is possible. Making designated time for the family will help with freeing up other days/nights during the week to take care of family or personal things. Family night can be weekly or even bi-weekly. Family night can become family day if you or a child plays a sport. Make a day out of the event. Make sandwiches and spend time at the park after the game or enjoy a hot cup of tea/coffee around a fire pit in the winter. Make it a device free few hours. Not only do you get quality time in with your family, but you may have an opportunity to decompress and relax.
4. Try something new! Unlike number #2 this does not need to be something you continue doing. It may be a one time opportunity so make it something fun! Do bungee jumping or skydiving. Try a new type of food. Attend a cooking class. Enter a contest. The only requirement here is to do something you have not done before. It could be something you would like to scratch off your bucket list. You just might like it.
5. Have a guy’s day or just a you day. Hit up the spa or the beach. Enjoy a round of golf or get a hot stone massage. Maybe your wife gifted you with a massage day at home or a daddy’s day off. Use it or lose it! Lol.
Any of these tools can be helpful in realigning your mental health and getting you back on track or keeping you on track. Most importantly, they are best used when you are sensing that you may be getting off course. You don’t have to wait until you have completely fallen off the wagon and you are extremely stressed and sad. Use this as an opportunity to regroup. If you need more support in managing your stress, contact me today. My unique coping strategies will help you get through the funk and give you freedom! Counseling Support
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