Holiday Sex Chronicles - Joe

Hello Doctor, I need some help deciding whether I should end this relationship? I'll start from the beginning, so you have all the details.

I was 23 when I met Joe, and I'm 36 now. He is four years older than I am, but I have always liked my men 3-5 years older. We first connected on a site called Blackplanet (a good place to meet other black people in the early to mid-2000’s). At the time I was in grad school in Connecticut and he was living in Philadelphia.

While we were matches on BP and spoke every day, we did not meet in person right way. This was fine for me because I had not yet proven that he wasn't a killer as Wendy Williams would say, lol. Do you watch her show? Well, after a few months of chatting on yahoo messenger and through BP, he and I decided to meet up. At this point, my interest in him was definitely piqued. I had gone back to his BP profile time and time again to see pics of his washboard abs. He told me he had taken the pictures last year so I presumed he was in very good shape.

On the day of our first meeting, I eagerly walked home from class, showered, packed an overnight bag and loaded up my car. A winter storm had just come through and my car was snowed in, but a little ice was not going to stop me from making my trip. I cleaned my car off and got on the road. It wasn't a long drive by any means, but I got a bit turned around and had to call him to help guide me to his place. I got there, and he was outside excited to greet me. I, on the other hand, was so nervous I was shaking. We did a quick formal introduction and he finished his greeting with a hug. I could tell his abs were still intact when I felt them pressed against my stomach during our embrace. He took my bag and rolled it into his house. I later learned that he was house-sitting for his dad while he was away in his native Caribbean. 

We made a bit of small talk, which I usually hated, but I went along with it because I was still trying to shake my fears. He must have sensed my nervousness as I fiddled with my keys, so he took me in his arms and kissed me deeply. His tongue was wild as it thrashed around my mouth. I knew I was going to have to tame his kiss, but his hunger for me was a delightful! I collapsed into his embrace loving every minute of it. All the intimacy our talks and conversation created was finally being physically realized.

I guess he had 3 months or so to get me excited about this day and I could feel his cock through his jeans. When I realized how big it was, I pulled my hand away in disbelief, not unlocking my lips from his in the process. He found my hand and placed it back firmly on his cock and I felt myself getting wet. He pulled away asking me with his eyes if what we were about to do next was okay. I shook my head yes, I'm sure resembling a bobble head but my embarrassment was thrown to the wind as he spun me around and laid me on my back. His sheets were silky. He had done this before I'm sure with countless women, but today it was my turn. I took that thought from my mind because I hoped that he had been selective about the lovers he had as I had been. He was going to be my 2nd...well technically my 3rd but I can explain why the 2nd one doesn't count when we speak again. He removed my panties (I had already taken off my tights like some young thirsty ho lol) and inserted one of his fingers into my wet area. I have never liked being fingered, but I was into it this time as his large finger slid into my wetness with ease. Not just my legs, but "she" opened up for him. He had the magic words. He pulled me up from the bed and gave me a moaning kiss. I moaned in return. He pulled away from my kiss just enough to whisper how much he had wanted me since we met. He surprised me next. In an instant his finger was replaced by his thrashing tongue, except I would not describe what he did as thrashing. This was the best. I had spread my legs as wide as I could and he Indiana Jones’d my pussy. He did not miss a single crevice. I was happy I took special care of her before my trip. He placed his right hand under my ass and in feeling my juicy ass, he moaned and lapped me up even more. I was on the verge of cumming but he pulled away. I was scared he might be a tease until I heard something tearing and realized he was putting on a condom. I reached out for him, but he didn't let me pull him near. He fiddled with the condom until he got it on. Then I saw it--his cock. There was no way he could fit into my tight lady bits. I crawled backwards a bit. He saw me, pulled me by my ankles back down to him, and said he would take his time. He barely inserted the head and I felt my legs buckling from the pressure. He asked me to open up for him, kissing me softly on my neck and face while his hands roamed freely under my shirt. My nipples were probably even more erect than his cock. He pushed in some more, there was pressure. He moaned and told me how tight I was. That helped me open up more. I felt my juices flowing more now too. He pulled out and for that moment I missed him so. He entered me again this time giving me more than half of him. I yelled a little but his insistent entering lowered my defenses and I moaned more than ever as I grabbed at his muscular butt and thighs, almost begging him for more. Needless to say, we soaked the sheets with our juices, but somehow managed to avoid our wet puddles as we laid in bed catching our breath. He kissed me on my chin, forehead, cheeks and then planted a deep kiss on my mouth. I could smell him and I inhaled his yumminess deeply. 

Our meetups went on for a few more years. While I completed my graduate program, our passionate sex never skipped a beat. I met his parents, who were divorced at that time. He had acquired his own home in the process and played sports and worked out to keep in shape. His body didn't change either. He kept those washboard abs every single day and I kept up my body as well. He enjoyed my athletic body and big booty, or so he told me. Then, a fantastic job opportunity opened in Pennsylvania, and I accepted so I could be closer to him. Oddly, he became less responsive as my move drew nearer. By the time I moved, he was only an acquaintance. I initiated calls/texts/messages less. If he wanted me, he would make the time. His family called me his wife, so I didn't feel insecure about our connection, I just felt like something else was going on and I wasn't privy to it. The once open, caring, affectionate, passionate, health-conscious, God-fearing man I knew and grew to truly enjoy was shutting me out. This pissed me off. Maybe it was all in my head. We remain friends to this day and I still see his social media posts from time to time, but I just wonder if I should cut him off all together because I'm in a relationship and seeing his pictures takes me right back there. He and I have never told each other that we loved one another, but our connection and love-making has never been replicated. I'm not sure if holding onto this friendship is fair to David, my current beau. A few times, Joe has asked me to pick him up from the airport and I would do it. He has even asked to sleep over a couple times because I live much closer to the stadium where he practiced, but we were never intimate. David does not know he has spent the night but that did not happen while David and I were exclusive, so I do not think it is even David's concern.

My issue is that I think I can be friends with Joe moving forward, but I want to respect my relationship with David and I think my past connection to Joe can easily be revived if I continue to spend time with him or even interact with him. Joe has been reaching out to me now. This is over 10 years of history. How do I just get rid of a friendship when nothing has even happened? Am I being too cautious? Am I just nervous about where my relationship is going with David? (He and I have been talking about marriage recently and I'm getting a sense that he may ask me to marry him) I just need to talk this through some more...