In the News - Is NBA star Dwight Howard gay? Gender Lifestyles & Attitudes

In case you missed all the recent chatter, Dwight Howard was accused of threatening his ex-boyfriend, Masin Elije. If that statement made you do a double take, read on.

For the uninitiated, Dwight is an NBA star known not only for his basketball exploits, but also for being reality TV-adjacent (his 1st baby mom, Royce Reed, starred on VH1's "Basketball Wives"). He currently plays for the Washington Wizards and is out re: injury report. It is not clear the extent of the alleged relationship, but Howard and his legal team have gone on the offensive to discredit the accuser, who is the author of the recent book "Industry Hoe".

I am not here to so much delve into the sordid details of their alleged relationship, as much as I am to speak on the response from social media, which I am aware is not necessarily the same as the general public. Twitter users were quick to make jokes about Howard, his manhood, and how he would never be able to show his face on an NBA court again. I know social media is full of negativity, but the depths of danger inherent in these attitudes can not be understated. 

Men (and women) who are made to feel ashamed and scared to be themselves due to threat of familial or societal exile are more likely to make a conscious effort to conceal their natural desires at all costs. When this happens, lies are told to ensuing paramours. In some cases this leads to violence and even murder, which furthers the path of victimization.

So, this is not only an indictment on the Dwight Howards of the world, but all of us. How much more pain will it take before queer lifestyles in all permutations are accepted in the way heteronormative ones? How can gender dysmorphia be treated when support systems rarely support individuals who are discovering their identities? (For those persons who wondering, gender dysmorphia is manifested in a variety of ways. It is when a there is a marked difference between an individual's expressed/experienced gender and the gender others would assign.)

Follow me @LWCOUNSELS for more therapist talk. Email me at lpcounselingsvcs@gmail.com if you or someone you love seeks support for gender dysmorphia.